Strange Things That Happen At A B & B, Episode 3: Public Urination

Ok – if you’re a man, you’ve done it. In fact, I just did it last week. You’re inside the house, you walk to the bathroom because you have to pee, think again, then go outside somewhere private, and have at it. There is something primeval about it; it just feels right. Some of you ladies wish you could too. I hear about it in the boat all the time. Maybe some of you do too.  Well, I’m not the only guy that does it; I know this because I witnessed it today. A guest showed up early and I checked them in. Two couples that looked to be retired. Later, one of the men came out of the house, walked right to the corner of the yard, whips it out and starts taking a leak. I was up on the ladder staining the cabin, and chuckling to myself. Being from the coast of Florida, he probably thinks he’s way out in the sticks. In a way, he’s right- because we are situated on a steep hillside, with tall cottonwood trees, alders, grass and cow parsnip surrounding the yard. You can’t see any other houses around here, even though we only live on 4 acres. Standing in the yard, you’d think we had carved Majestic View Bed and Breakfast out of a jungle. What this gentleman doesn’t understand is that there’s seven units here, with giant windows everywhere, and often women and children around. Probably a few city folks who have never peed outside in their life too. Maybe he doesn’t care if anyone DID see him? Perhaps he has prostate issues? When you gotta go, you gotta go, right? Whatever. Anyway you look at it, he’s a man after my own heart. Look buddy – just be like me, and don’t get caught, OK? And no, folks: this time, I don’t have a picture to share!

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